What If You Stopped Dreading and Started Creating?

As I’m recording this, the school holidays are just about to end — and in my house, the kids are pretty bummed out about going back to school.
And what I’m noticing is… because they're already dreading what’s coming next, they’re not fully enjoying these last sweet days of freedom.

And honestly?
I do this too.
Whenever I’m on holiday, I find myself anticipating the post-holiday blues before I’ve even left paradise.
It's like I cut off my own joy in anticipation of something less pleasant on the horizon.

And at the same time, I’m really into manifesting, future dreaming, future casting — all that beautiful forward-focused energy.

So I realized... I needed to get clearer on how to navigate this. It’s easy to forget simple things when you’re busy doing all the things, so I pulled this episode together because if you’re anything like me, you might need help with this too.

So how do you use anticipation to expand your life, instead of trying to escape what’s happening now – or what you think is coming next?

Because real growth isn't about running away from where you are.

It’s about growing through it.

I love the quote “wherever you go, there you are” — because it’s such a powerful reminder that no matter how much we plan, dream, or dread what’s coming… we still have to live in the now.

Sometimes we daydream about something amazing coming up — a holiday, a move, a big goal we're excited about.
Other times, we brace ourselves for something harder — like the end of your favourite season, or going back to real-life after a holiday.

Either way, the future has this funny pull on us.
It can either expand us — make us more present, more alive, more hopeful...
Or it can contract us — pull us out of the moment and into worry, fear, or even dread.

I've noticed this in myself so many times.
Like when I’m on holiday in a beautiful warm location and then dread coming back to real-life.

I find it difficult to really enjoy the last few days because I’m already mentally skipping ahead to the "hard" part.

And the weird part is, I actually really like my life.

I work from home (I’m a Cancerian so I absolutely love this), and I interact with people throughout the day so I get the best of both worlds.

 I have my dog Daisy and my cat Lupe sleeping beside me or on top of me, I get to be here for the kids before and after school and of course I absolutely love coaching, so truly, there’s nothing to complain about.

But still, there’s something about the cruisy-ness of being on holiday that I still haven’t managed to fully replicate in my day to day existence, so there is always a bit of dread that accompanies those last few days of holiday when I dwell on my re-entry to real life.

This also happens with the change of the seasons.

I'm really not a fan of winter.

I feel the cold so much that the whole season feels like an endurance test: layers of clothing, hot water bottles, endless cups of tea just to stay warm.

I love summer, I love being at the beach, I love wearing pretty dresses, and every year I find myself dreading that shift into winter, as if I'm already uncomfortable months before it even properly arrives.

The only thing I like about coming out of summer and into autumn, is that this is the season when my favourite fruit falls off the trees. Feijoas. Apparently they came from south American to New Zealand in the early 1900s and we absolutely love them here.

I also love the delicious smell of the Daphne plant that blooms in autumn.

But then it’s just one long slog through winter.

But some people LOVE winter! They love skiing and snow boarding, they love hunkering down and drinking hot toddys in front of the fire, they love … Well honestly I can’t personally think of anything else that people could love about winter, but you get the point.

If you love winter, DM me and tell me why. Honestly, I’m open to new ways of approaching my least favourite season.

But my point here is, the season itself isn’t the problem, but rather, the way I think about it and anticipate the crappi-ness of it, that’s the problem.

My thoughts can rob me of the sweetness that’s happening right now.

So today, I’ll share some simple Ideas you can use, so you’ll know

·         How to tell if your future focus is helping you or hurting you

·         How to shift from anxious anticipation to expansive anticipation

·         And how to stay rooted in the goodness that’s happening right now, even as you call in more

Because if you’re into manifesting, then you’ll know that wallowing in feelings like angst, discomfort or dread, will only cause situations that result in feelings of angst, discomfort or dread and no one wants that!

So let’s start here:
How to tell if your future focus is helping you or hurting you

It’s not just about what you’re thinking about — it’s about how it feels in your body.

If you're dreaming about the future and it feels exciting, spacious, grounding — that’s expansive anticipation.
It’s like your whole system lights up.
You can still feel rooted in now, but there's this added sparkle because of what’s on the horizon.

But if thinking about the future feels heavy, anxious, desperate, or like you’re bracing for impact… that’s a clue that your focus might be contracting you.
Instead of adding energy to your now, it's draining it.

You can feel the difference in your body.
Expansive anticipation feels open, like a deep breath or a happy flutter. For me, I get full body tingles, my breathing gets deeper, it feels like there’s spaciousness in my heart.

Contractive anticipation feels tight, like you're tensing for a punch. For me, I feel like there’s a tight fist squeezing my heart.

So a really easy practice you can try is this:
When you catch yourself thinking about the future — just pause and check in.
Does this thought feel light and exciting?

Or tight and heavy?

Where do you feel it in your body?

Neither one makes you a "good" or "bad" manifester, by the way.
It’s just information.
It’s just awareness.

And once you notice it, you can choose.

You can either:

• Lean into the expansion if it feels good, turn up the dial, see how far you can go. How good will you allow yourself to feel?

• Or pause and shift if you realize you're gripping or dreading.

This little emotional quality check takes like, five seconds — but it makes such a huge difference.

Because the truth is, (potential trigger warning here), you may not have a future. We have no control over how long we live.

So would you rather waste time dreading a potential future, or spend time dreaming of a better potential future?

If your life was cut short today, would you like to be in ghost form thinking ‘damn, I wish I’d spent more time worrying’ or ‘damn, I really should’ve enjoyed myself more when I had the chance’

So let’s talk about that for a sec

If you catch yourself gripping the future — dreading it, bracing for it, getting tight about it — what can you actually do in that moment?

Here’s something simple that helps me:

1. Name what you’re afraid of.

Get specific.

Instead of this vague "ugh, winter is going to be awful" or "going back to work will suck" — name exactly what you're afraid of.

Maybe it’s "I'm scared I’ll feel cold and miserable for months."

Or "I'm worried that I’ll feel trapped in a routine again."

Get it out. Be real about it.

Because when you name it, you tame it.

It stops being this big, shadowy monster in the background and becomes something you can actually work with.

2. Find one (small) thing you can look forward to — even inside the hard thing.

This is so simple, but really powerful.

If you hate winter, maybe you look forward to your favorite oodie, or drinking mulled wine.

If you're dreading work after a holiday, maybe you can look forward to your favorite coffee on your first day back, or reconnecting with a colleague you like.

You don't have to pretend the whole thing’s gonna be amazing.

You just need one little thread of goodness you can hold onto.

Because once you find one good thing — your brain starts noticing more.

And it shifts you out of pure dread into possibility.

3. Expand your view.

Zoom out a little.

Remember: This hard thing? It’s temporary.

Winter turns into spring.

School terms end in holidays again.

No season — literal or metaphorical — lasts forever.

When you can hold a bigger view, it softens the edges of whatever you're walking through.

You can still be honest about what’s hard — but you’re not stuck in the contraction.

And then finally...

Let’s talk about how to stay rooted in the goodness that's happening now, even while you're calling in more.

Because here’s the thing:
You can want more.
You can dream big.
You can get wildly excited about what's ahead.

But the magic is in being deeply present to the goodness that's already here.

And it’s not about pretending everything is perfect.
It’s about training yourself to notice — really notice — the little glimmers of joy, peace, beauty, and abundance that already exist in your current moment.

Because what you appreciate, appreciates.

When you anchor yourself in the good that's already here, you actually become a match for even more good things to flow in.

So here’s something you can try:
Before you slip into future-dreaming — or when you notice yourself drifting there — gently bring yourself back and ask:

·         What's beautiful about right now?

·         What’s one thing I can savor in this moment?

·         What’s already working for me, even if some things feel messy?

It could be tiny:
The smell of your coffee.
The sun shining outside

The sound of laughter drifting by.

Here’s something I loved when I was traveling — it might seem a little weird, but I loved the sound of cutlery chinking against plates.

It was such a simple sound but as I was walking around big European cities, whenever I heard that noise, I started thinking about what that person’s life was like. Maybe they were eating a yummy meal before heading off to work, which made me curious about what it was like to live and work in whatever foreign city I was in. Such a simple, every day sound but it brought me joy.
So find something that moves you away from the horrible feelings and into better feelings.

You don't have to fix everything first to enjoy your life.

Because trust me, when you get to where you think you want to go, you probably won’t even pause to celebrate and enjoy it, because you will have already shifted the goal posts. You’ll already be working towards your next big vision.

The trick is learning to enjoy your life right now — even as you build, dream, and manifest your next level.

So, if this topic resonated with you — if you’re nodding along thinking, “Yup, I do this too,” and you're craving support to shift from contraction into expansion, from dread into delight… I want you to know: you don’t have to navigate this alone.

This is exactly the kind of thing I help my clients with — not just manifesting the dream, but actually learning how to feel good along the way. To stay grounded in joy, to make peace with the present, and to create a life that feels spacious, empowered, and truly aligned while working on your business.

So if you’d like to explore how working with me can help you build your business and life with more ease, book a call with me. We’ll talk about where you’re at, where you want to go, and how I can support you in bridging that gap — with way more ease and way less hustle.

If your body is saying yes, book a call

And until next time, keep anchoring into the goodness that’s already here. You’re doing better than you think.